I started this blog to share my writing. I haven't really done that yet and I still cling to the dream that I am going to find my old things and share them here.
This has kept me from even considering writing anything new.
Silly me.
SO here it is. I am going to write something every week. Even if it is a paragraph of pure nonsense, I am writing and posting.
For shorting things, they go straight to the blog. For longer items I am going to post them using Google documents and put a link here. This is the plan. I will try to keep to it.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
It is Church Time Again
Of course Sunday always get me going. I should probably stop trying to make sense out of religion, but hey, what else am I supposed to do?
Today I got to thinking about learning faith versus experiencing faith. My wife and her family are tried and true Catholics. They have all went to church from day one and that is what is expected. In my view, they are Catholic because that is what they have been taught to be. They believe because they were taught to believe. (this is my view, maybe not accurate in all ways).
I take issue with this. Myself, I am a heathen protestant of some sort or another. I was not raised in a church. No real mention of religion in my family life at all. I went looking, reading, listening, and learning. I found faith on my own. Believe me, I have looked under some nasty rocks for my faith and beliefs, but I still found them.
So where am I going with this?
Am I bragging? I sure hope not.
I have just decided that I am in favor of people finding their place in the giant scheme of things. I think that a lot of people would search out faith and religion (separate in my book) on their own. In some ways, it is almost natural. What I am against is canned faith and forced religion.
I feel that children should be able to explore faith and religion without parental pressure. If they chose that path, only then should things like baptism be explored.
I guess in many ways I am against infant baptism. It reeks of the parents choosing the religion and faith for their children. I can't place why I feel this way, but I do.
I guess where I am going is simple. Does being raised in a religion lead to real faith? I think it can. I really do.
I also belief that not being raised by a canned religion can lead to real faith as well.
I just don't like the idea that you have to have religion or be raised in a religion to have faith. They are separate issues in my mind, but for many you cannot tear the two apart.
Today I got to thinking about learning faith versus experiencing faith. My wife and her family are tried and true Catholics. They have all went to church from day one and that is what is expected. In my view, they are Catholic because that is what they have been taught to be. They believe because they were taught to believe. (this is my view, maybe not accurate in all ways).
I take issue with this. Myself, I am a heathen protestant of some sort or another. I was not raised in a church. No real mention of religion in my family life at all. I went looking, reading, listening, and learning. I found faith on my own. Believe me, I have looked under some nasty rocks for my faith and beliefs, but I still found them.
So where am I going with this?
Am I bragging? I sure hope not.
I have just decided that I am in favor of people finding their place in the giant scheme of things. I think that a lot of people would search out faith and religion (separate in my book) on their own. In some ways, it is almost natural. What I am against is canned faith and forced religion.
I feel that children should be able to explore faith and religion without parental pressure. If they chose that path, only then should things like baptism be explored.
I guess in many ways I am against infant baptism. It reeks of the parents choosing the religion and faith for their children. I can't place why I feel this way, but I do.
I guess where I am going is simple. Does being raised in a religion lead to real faith? I think it can. I really do.
I also belief that not being raised by a canned religion can lead to real faith as well.
I just don't like the idea that you have to have religion or be raised in a religion to have faith. They are separate issues in my mind, but for many you cannot tear the two apart.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Upbeat fun
Okay, here is the link to the original story/text. I am still cutting and pasting it here because it is one of those things that makes me smile. It was even turned into a strange rap/song thing at one time.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
"Life may not be the party we hoped for; but while we are here,we might as well dance.
I don't usually like these kinds of things in my emails, but the last sentence stuck with me. Read it and see what you think.
Subject: FW: Think about it
READTHIS VERY SLOWLY...
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.?
How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration " mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and avail-able for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.
Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry-go-round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift...thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
It's National Friendship and FAMILY WEEK. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.
"Life may not be the party we hoped for; but while we are here,we might as well dance.
Subject: FW: Think about it
READTHIS VERY SLOWLY...
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.?
How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration " mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and avail-able for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.
Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry-go-round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift...thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
It's National Friendship and FAMILY WEEK. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.
"Life may not be the party we hoped for; but while we are here,we might as well dance.
Monday, January 22, 2007
My Favorite Poem
Jabberwocky
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Anxiety is a bad thing
Back in the olden days when I was getting divorced from wife1.0, I started having anxiety attacks.
The first one was terrifying and at age 29, I was pretty sure that I was having a heart attack and was going to die alone in my sister's front yard.
Chest pain.
Cold sweat.
Hyperventilating.
Wobbly legs.
They only got more fun.
Despite the fact that I considered myself a pretty tough bastard, I finally had to go to the Doctor. He gave me some nice pills to take in case I suffered one of those bastard evil attacks.
They helped, on the good days.
On the bad days, I could live in a recliner for three days running. Leaving was dangerous.
It was like a buzz in my chest and a feeling of dread. I just couldn't kick it on some days.
I never knew what could set me off.
I could be driving happily along, enjoying life, then suddenly THE FEAR would hit and I was useless. Anxiety sucks, especially when you or your medicine can't control it.
The attacks went away after the divorce was final. Seems like the cure was to loose one hundred pounds of pure evil.
Guess what.
They are back.
Out of the blue.
About 8:30 every night it sets in.
Feels like a flutter in my chest.
I get restless.
I pace.
It hurts on the inside.
I can't sleep.
Hell, I can barely crawl in bed and remain still.
This is pure crap.
I have stress, but I can keep pussing out like this.
Worst of all I may have to go to the Dr and fess up.
Not a good thing.
I hate telling my doctor what is wrong.
He is a good man, but I feel like a whiner.
The first one was terrifying and at age 29, I was pretty sure that I was having a heart attack and was going to die alone in my sister's front yard.
Chest pain.
Cold sweat.
Hyperventilating.
Wobbly legs.
They only got more fun.
Despite the fact that I considered myself a pretty tough bastard, I finally had to go to the Doctor. He gave me some nice pills to take in case I suffered one of those bastard evil attacks.
They helped, on the good days.
On the bad days, I could live in a recliner for three days running. Leaving was dangerous.
It was like a buzz in my chest and a feeling of dread. I just couldn't kick it on some days.
I never knew what could set me off.
I could be driving happily along, enjoying life, then suddenly THE FEAR would hit and I was useless. Anxiety sucks, especially when you or your medicine can't control it.
The attacks went away after the divorce was final. Seems like the cure was to loose one hundred pounds of pure evil.
Guess what.
They are back.
Out of the blue.
About 8:30 every night it sets in.
Feels like a flutter in my chest.
I get restless.
I pace.
It hurts on the inside.
I can't sleep.
Hell, I can barely crawl in bed and remain still.
This is pure crap.
I have stress, but I can keep pussing out like this.
Worst of all I may have to go to the Dr and fess up.
Not a good thing.
I hate telling my doctor what is wrong.
He is a good man, but I feel like a whiner.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
That book I keep talking about
Everyone needs this book. I love it and like to read it when I start feeling down. If I were a book, this one would be me.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Secrets
I am not a dishonest person, but I have secrets.
There are things I don't tell my wife.
There are things my closest friend doesn't know.
There are things I will never admit.
It is times like these, deep in the cold of night, where I wish I could come clean.
I can't.
At least not here.
Not with anyone I know, almost.
Even if I should trust I can't, most of the time.
I wonder if others have secrets as deep as mine.
There are things I don't tell my wife.
There are things my closest friend doesn't know.
There are things I will never admit.
It is times like these, deep in the cold of night, where I wish I could come clean.
I can't.
At least not here.
Not with anyone I know, almost.
Even if I should trust I can't, most of the time.
I wonder if others have secrets as deep as mine.
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
Saturday
What do people like me do on the weekends?
Blogging is the last thing usually.
Today I had the tires rotated on one of the cars.
I changed the oil in both of the cars.
Spent the afternoon playing with my daughter (16months).
That is what boring farts do, but I enjoyed most of it.
Now I am opening a few beers.
I deserve it.
Then a couple of episodes of "Rescue Me" on DVD
Blogging is the last thing usually.
Today I had the tires rotated on one of the cars.
I changed the oil in both of the cars.
Spent the afternoon playing with my daughter (16months).
That is what boring farts do, but I enjoyed most of it.
Now I am opening a few beers.
I deserve it.
Then a couple of episodes of "Rescue Me" on DVD
Friday, January 12, 2007
Nonsense in my head
Bloom bloggity
Bloom bloggity
Bloom Bloom Varooom
Not sure where that came from, but it has been running through my head for about an hour.
Blim blaggity
Blim bloggity
Blim Blamity
Bloom bloggity
Bloom Bloom Varooom
Not sure where that came from, but it has been running through my head for about an hour.
Blim blaggity
Blim bloggity
Blim Blamity
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Letting Go of the Inner Rage
I don't feel like blogging this week.
My thoughts are tired and fragmented.
My boss provoked me into a fit of nearly fatal rage earlier this week.
It took a couple of days, but I let it go.
It is gone
Gone
gone
I wish I had more energy.
I need to exercise
I want to blog exciting
Maybe what I need is excitement?
I wonder where I can get excitement?
The only thing worse than being in a crappy foul mood is boredom.
Boredom scares me.
It often leads to that nasty dark place where I want to curl up into a ball and hide.
I am trying to keep out of that place.
It is far too easy to get in there, but harder to get out
My thoughts are tired and fragmented.
My boss provoked me into a fit of nearly fatal rage earlier this week.
It took a couple of days, but I let it go.
It is gone
Gone
gone
I wish I had more energy.
I need to exercise
I want to blog exciting
Maybe what I need is excitement?
I wonder where I can get excitement?
The only thing worse than being in a crappy foul mood is boredom.
Boredom scares me.
It often leads to that nasty dark place where I want to curl up into a ball and hide.
I am trying to keep out of that place.
It is far too easy to get in there, but harder to get out
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Trees
I love trees.
This tree is in a yard down my street.
Sometimes I wish that I could take really good pictures all the time because some times (always) my good pictures are pure accidents.
I should probably title this picture "Peaceful."
Windows
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Far too often I worry about people looking into mine.
It is dangerous.
Things lurk there that shouldn't be seen.
Not necessarily bad.
Just different from what is on the outside.
Things that most people who know me wouldn't understand.
Things that are part of me.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
After Christmas
The holidays are finally over and I seem to be getting away from the horrible funk that was dragging me down.
I am much better than I was, but as with anyone I still have a few issues, but who doesn't?
Hopefully there will be more writing in the near future. I am still getting caught with being back at work and crap like that.
I even have some pictures that I might actually show here. Maybe......
It feels great to at least have a positive attitude for now. I am hoping that I can keep this going.
Part of what is picking me up is that I think I dodged at least one nasty version of the flu this weekend.
Friday and Saturday were touch and go, but today I am 1000% better. No more aches, no more sore throat, no more worrying about infecting the whole house.
Here is to a good week.
I am much better than I was, but as with anyone I still have a few issues, but who doesn't?
Hopefully there will be more writing in the near future. I am still getting caught with being back at work and crap like that.
I even have some pictures that I might actually show here. Maybe......
It feels great to at least have a positive attitude for now. I am hoping that I can keep this going.
Part of what is picking me up is that I think I dodged at least one nasty version of the flu this weekend.
Friday and Saturday were touch and go, but today I am 1000% better. No more aches, no more sore throat, no more worrying about infecting the whole house.
Here is to a good week.
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